They Called It Holy: The Holy Gate of Ravad | The Holy Letter of Ramban

They Called It Holy brings to light the work of two medieval giants of Jewish thought, Ravad and Ramban, on the subject of sexuality. The Torah views the union of a married couple to be a holy religious fulfilment of God’s will. The reader will find refreshing insights applicable to everyday Jewish life.

“Within the confines of the Jewish tradition, marital intimacy and indeed sexuality as a whole were normally not matters of public discussion. Rooted in the time-honored values of tzniyut, this laudable reticence led to an unfortunate and erroneous conclusion that Judaism regarded marital relations as somehow dirty, improper or shameful, and something to be avoided. At best, it could be tolerated as a concession to human weakness, but ideally, celibacy would be the preferred holier state.

“In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Intentional celibacy is actually sinful; marriage is an elevated state of spirituality, and within marriage, intimacy in particular was seen as a vehicle to bring Divine blessing into the world. If the tradition has been reticent, it is because of the holiness of intimacy, not its shame.

“Quite remarkably, two of the greatest Rishonim (medieval halachic authorities) compiled ‘sex manuals’ for married couples that eloquently make these very points – Rabbi Avraham Ben David (Ravad III) in The Holy Gate, and Rabbi Moshe Ben Nachman (Ramban, although here the attribution is a little less certain) in The Holy Letter. (Note especially the term ‘Holy’ that appears in both titles.) These are eye-opening, indeed revolutionary, treatments of topics rarely addressed in any sacred literature, and definitively dispel any notion that Judaism views intimacy in a negative or inferior light. Sadly, however, these works were inaccessible to those not conversant in rabbinic Hebrew, and these vital and valuable perspectives were simply lost.

“We thus owe Dr. Moshe Kuhr a tremendous debt of gratitude for bringing these truths to the forefront.” –Rabbi Yitzchak A. Breitowitz

Publisher:

Urim Publications

Pages:

128

Date Published:

2026